A Hedonism Break

I took a 4-day 180 from Minimalism May

“Have you had a chance to enjoy the buffets?”

I stared at the Maitre D in confusion. I had, of course, had the other buffets. I had tried most of the amenities the Norwegian Gem had to offer. I paid for them after all. I may be on break from minimalism, but I know how to squeeze all the value I can. No, I was confused because this was a restaurant that I clearly wanted to eat at and this snooty A-hole was acting like I wasn’t welcome. We will circle back to this conversation, because it fascinates me. But it shows the contradictions of my trip perfectly.

I pulled into The Parking Spot in St. Louis minutes before the rain started in what promised to be a potent storm. The drops started to hit me right before I got on the shuttle and as soon as I got through security, a monsoon descended on the airport. There was a tornado warning and a couple actually touched down in STL, but we were lucky to only get hail - at least some of us were lucky. Every plane that was caught in the weather had to be inspected from nose to tail before they could fly which meant almost every connecting flight was delayed. My flight got moved back about an hour, but was the first plane to leave the ground after the storm. Crisis averted, I shouldn’t have any problems getting to my cruise.

The two-night cruise was booked before Minimalist May was a glint in my eye. As a travel agent, albeit part time, I was charged with knowing cruises. After fumbling along with the inexperience I had, I decided I had to go on one to speak on it. My hesitation had always been…well, a lot of what I found on the ship: people. People everywhere. People in the pool, in the cramped hallways and yes, people in line at the buffets. Most of all, the people were packed into this ship like sardines with no place to go.

That last fear was allayed. The ships are massive and while there were crowds in several places, you could find spaces to hang by yourself in you wanted…and I wanted. I found solace, as I often do, in the library. They had a lot of books on the Caribbean and cruising in general, but I enjoyed my drink and the view - and the quiet - more than anything. Also, they had trivia, crosswords and sudoku printed each day of the ship so I made sure to pick those up and work on them on the balcony of my cabin. That was another nice isolated place.

While we only spent a day on Norwegian’s private island in the Bahamas, it was definitely a highlight of the trip. The water is absolutely beautiful. There were five or six private beaches and the further you got from the drop-off point, the fewer people there were at each beach. After all that beach time, I couldn’t wait to get back to the faux Irish/Sports bar and devour some Irish food, which brings us back to or tuxedoed friend.

“Have you had a chance to enjoy our buffet?”

“Yeah, I had it for lunch,” I began to say, when he cut me off. “Lunch was on the island today”

“Yeah, I had it for lunch yesterday.” “It changes every day, you know?”

“Dude, I know. I want to eat here.” “Are you sure?”

After eating the Irish sounding dish, which was pork, plantains, rice and beans. (I’m guessing they just turned the Jamaican name to Gaelic), I knew I made the right decision, but I kept eyeballing homeboy. The nerve of that guy. This was a 24-hour restaurant INCLUDED in the cruise. I guess maybe drunk frat guys at 3a.m. is more their scene?

Oh, did I mention I won trivia? They do trivia several times a day in the main area, which worked out well for me, because that bar is where they kept the best bartender on the ship. He made a mean Dirty Monkey. Hilariously, I am used to calling them Mono Sucio, which dirty monkey in Spanish. He looked at me like I was crazy and said he had no idea what I was talking about. Shrug emoji. After I converted to English, the drink was delicious and I beat him down in Brain Teaser Trivia and earned a Norwegian Cruises deck of playing cards. So, I didn’t go home empty handed.

I did come up empty on the art auction. Yes, an actual auction of actual art on the ship. The piece I liked was given to me at a very ‘special’ price of $850. I stifled a laugh and told them I would probably just watch the auction. I ended up feeling pretty bad, because I don’t think they sold a single piece the entire time. The more I think about though, the more I wonder, why in God’s name would they expect the average cruise attendee to just have $1000 lying around to purchase artwork that they then have to lug off the boat and presumably onto a plane. I ain’t passed the GRE, but I know a little bit. That is a faulty business plan. Unless, of course, they have drug dealers take a lot of cruises and need to launder money: then it’s a masterful plan.

One of the biggest highlights was after the cruise when I went to a Marlins game and they walked off the Cubs

But Aaron, It’s June. How did the rest of Minimalist May go? Thank you for asking. It went ok. There was only about a week left by the time I got back and that included Memorial Day, which I stayed home for and relaxed, so there wasn’t a lot of time to go out and blow extra money. The eating, however, suffered a bit. I had a bit of a hard time coming back from all you can eat and limiting myself. I did bring one fun thing home with me from the trip: a blood clot! But that’s a story for another time. As is my take on It, the novel by Stephen King which has haunted me since I saw Tim Curry’s version of Pennywise on TV when I was 10. As for now, I am celebrating Jubilant June, which allows me to pretend I did a great job in May and indulge! Until next time…

Next Three Things:

Adult Book Fair - June 14th, Rose Music Hall, 12:30pm

This is one of my absolute favorite events of the year. They do a great job making this feel like the Scholastic Book Fair you remember as a kid, but now you can drink while you peruse all the goodies!

Bowers/Carroll Alumni Game - June 14th, Mizzou Arena, Autographs 10a, Tipoff 12p

I can’t go because I have to set up for the Book Fair, but you can do both! There will be a lot of Mizzou favorites from basketball and football over the years. The Alumni Game is always a lot of fun and money goes to a great cause.

Sunday Market - June 15th, Serendipity - 10a to 2p

I will be spending the early hours of my Father’s Day with the community, which feels right! This will be my fourth market and I don’t think the rest of the family has made to one yet, so this will be a good opportunity. Then, I plan to drink a beer and watch the end of the U.S. Open: a tradition unlike any other.